Prologue
In
the barely lit room, there are only some gym mattresses and a couple of
mirrors. I’ve set the mirrors so I can watch myself losing the V of my nickname.
My “one-hour stand” climbs onto the mattresses and touches my naked, trembling body.
His breathing becomes ragged; his eyes are dark.
I
never imagined my first time would be like this. In my imagination, when I had
my first time, I would be in love.
I
always thought I would only allow myself to be with someone in that way if I really, really, loved
that person. He would also be unconditionally in love with me. He would be
someone who would look at me as though I was his sun.
I
wanted to lose my virginity to someone who adores me. Preferably someone who
would had said the five magic words: “Lila, will you marry me?” I wanted to
have sex for the first time with someone I’d consider worthy enough to spend
the rest of my life with. If I only had
more time. Eighteen is too young in my book to have met the person to whom I
want to commit my life.
I
wish this occasion could have been a romantic spur of the moment situation. One
thing leading to other in a natural manner and then
... I wouldn’t be a V-girl
anymore.
That
would have been an ideal situation. But I don’t live in an ideal world; I live
in a world defined by a civil war.
My
deflowering can’t be romantic or spontaneous. I’ve been preparing my first
sexual encounter since I heard the troops were on their way to Starville.
I
don’t love my sexual partner. He doesn’t love me, either. But it has to be him,
or it’s going to be a random guy from the troops … through force.
My
“lover” hesitates for a moment. I feel his weight pressing me into the mattress. His body tenses. I wait for
him to make the next move, but I’m afraid he has changed his mind.
Guest Post:
Ebook vs. Printed books.
Today I wanted to share with all of you my opinion about a dilemma that every
bookaholic faces once in a while. The never ending debate: E-books vs. Printed
books.
Some believe that e-readers are going to dominate the reading world. A more conservative group of people think
that the traditional book will remain the favorite choice among a huge portion
of book lovers.
As recent as four years ago, I was an enthusiast part of
this second side. I used to believe that a book, to be “real” had to come to
life in printed form. The flipping of
pages, the smell, and the texture were all irreplaceable for me and a huge part
of what my reading experience have to include. And who doesn’t love to take a
look at shelves full of books?
Eventually, I discovered the advantages of e-book readers.
Portability; more books, less money, you
can read covertly when you’re not
supposed to do it (let’s say a boring lecture).
E-books have advantages that I never thought I’d enjoy since I was so reluctant
to change the way I have always read.
You are not less of a book lover if you prefer e-books over
printed books. Recently I saw a video in which
Kat O’Keeffe from Katytastic admits she prefers e-books. Kat,
owns the most beautiful shelves I’ve ever seen, and even so she prefers e-books. Plenty of booklovers , who have a kind of physical
impediment will prefer e-book, too. And
carrying a thousand books with you wherever you go, has its advantages.
Why not combine the two? I read in electronic format the
books that I think won’t be among my favorites. When my favorite authors have a
new release, I end up buying the same book twice. I order the e-book the day of
release and even so I order the printed version.
As a book addict who enjoys her addiction, I’ll always want
more books in whatever format I can get them: Electronic, Audio, Paperback, Hardcovers,
etc. I want them all. The format doesn’t demerit the value of a book. A great
book will always be great not matter what format meet our eyes. And whether
your book collection is nicely stacked on shelves or available to you with just
a few clicks on your e-reader, the very fact that we have options to choose is
something to feel grateful for. It means more reading opportunities to discover
our next favorite reading.
